Sunday, June 18, 2006

For the first time ever

I had the inner will to cause a person or their vehicle harm.

Pink, Little Blue and I were heading somewhere, and we pulled up to the end of our culdesac, turned into the right hand lane, and before Pink could get on the gas, the light about 100 feet away turns yellow, so she takes her time getting to the light.

So, give or take the 5-7 seconds it takes us to get to the light and we stop, and you get that little jerk when the car rests and your momentum is at rest a moment later.

And what happens?

Some idiot in a dark red Grand Am or Grand Prix comes blowing by us at well over 60mph in the left hand lane through the red light. Speed limit is 40, and as much as his engine was winding up, he was on the gas the whole time.

Our hearts skip a beat, we let out a nervous chuckle as we make sure we were okay, then we both started bitching in G-rated mode (Little Blue was in the back seat mind you), and being the guy that I am, I watch as the guy gets boxed in at the bottom of the hill.

"What happened guys?"

"Some silly boy in a silly car was driving very very very silly."

One light later and we're turning right and I see the guy stuck in the left hand turning lane and my mind immediatly goes these thoughts:
  1. If I were alone, I'd let it go. I've seen idiots like that a plenty, especially little 4 bangers wanting to race me in my SS.
  2. But I'm not alone. My FAMILY is in the car and we could have been wiped out right then and there. I'm pissed.
  3. Were the #&^@^#%@(@#&#()&$^ is something I can throw at this guy?
  4. Is his window down?
  5. His window IS down!
  6. Were in the @*(^$#^@@^#$% is something I can throw at this guy? *looks around in Pinks car for an old drink or maybe some leftover water in a sippy cup*
  7. I could just go kick his car. I really could.
  8. Can I kick in a car door?
  9. *chuckles* Heck yeah.
  10. Well, we're turning right and we've got the light, won't let Pink stop the car so I can be dumb boy right back.
  11. *imagines chucking water or a hot coffee on the guy while he's waiting for a left turn light*
I get over it, but I tell Pink for the first time in my life, I honestly felt like doing something to the guy. She double checks to make sure we were both looking at the same guy, and as I confirm, I can see a little glimmer of evil go through here eyes.

Did I mention my cute wife is a total turn on when shes' got a bit o' the evil in her.

We cruise on.

Reminds me of the arguments Mom had with me and Dad when I was in High School and my Monte Carlo SS. My Uncle called from near Wichita and said they had a blue one on the lot that was brought in as a trade in and asked if we wanted to come see it.

Mom knew she wouldn't get a legitimate argument out of me because I first saw a 4th Generation Monte Carlo SS when I was nine and had been saving up for a car, secretly biding my time for an SS.

So she went to Dad, and Dad fought the good fight and won. But once we were in the dealership, and Dad had co-signed a loan with me on the car, the car salesmen left the room and my Dad leaned over and said:

"Now, when we sign this paperwork, you'll be making the payments, but MY name is on the title. For all purposes, it's your car, but if I catch you don't something stupid, like racing on the street or you get into an accident, I will take this car away from you. You get me?"

*17 year old blue nods his head*

"Good. What you've got here is a nice car, but it's a weapon and it can kill. You DO NOT want someone else's death on your get me?"

*17 year old blue nods his head again*


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