Friday, December 30, 2005

One long Note demonstrating testosterone :)

I was going to leave a note over on Veggienerd's blog, but I could tell after I wrote the first sentence it was going to turn into a post of it's why not?

House cleaning: Understand that there's a machine that'll do nearly every job in the house, and the purpose of those machines is to make doing the tasks, faster, easier, and less maintenance. They're not as fun as computers or video game consoles, but who says you can't use both at the same time. Washer/dryers do 99% of the work and come with built in playtime between starting/finishing a load. Pushing a it really that hard? (Blue reccomends bagless with washable filters, more maintenance, but better suckage!), Dishwasher...ha! I only wash pots, pans, and anything that doesn't come clean out of the dishwasher. Swiffer wet pads are awesome for mopping, but use a dustpan/broom to get the chunks up first.

Laundry - Sucks. But, toss stuff in the washer when you wake up in the morning, (most loads are cold water, so they won't affect the warm shower water), then chuck them in the dryer before you go to work. Unless you iron everything, I personally don't care that your socks aren't ironed. (and for the record, men should iron their own clothes!). If you've got some fancy stuff you need washed, do it while your vegging infront of the TV/videogames. Equipment hiding in the basement? Tell yourself a limit to go check...after all, if you lived in the dorms in college, you used to live in the laundry room once a week; pick up a dollar store alarm clock and set it for 40 minutes for washing, 60 for drying. Folding? Do it while watching TV...that's what coffee tables are for. Downey balls rule.

Hot tips for laundry: Buy baskets for the different loads of laundry you do. Man-Things need only white, colors, dress clothes, and an X factor for new red or yellow clothes (after 5 or so washes, reds and yellows can be tossed in with the colors). Women...well...I'm testosterone dominant, but I am familiar with the ladies laundry procedures (much to Pink's delight). I'd reccomend adding a couple more (provided the couple doesn't mind their clothes in the same batch). The only sorting you'll have to do is when you're folding up. Too lazy to fold? Haul the clothes out of the dryer, drag them to the closet, and hang every thing. Law of averages says you'll only have to turn half of them right side in, and most hangers can go through the neck. Zip up jeans/pants when washing, but don't button; prevents the zipper from tearing up other clothes.

Stress - Don't attempt to control things that are out of your control. And make lists.

Sewing buttons: I taught my "men" on the floor of Trout Hall at Pittsburg State how to do this (among other gentlemanly things). Most guys don't know what mauve and taupe is (granted, neither do I, I had to use google to spell taupe!), but we can match colors, so matching the color of the button thread on our shirts should be a piece of cake. Threading a needle? A pain? Yup? For thirty seconds? Hard to chuck a drill faster than that boys. Lie the shirt flat and tight, stick the needle through the back of the shirt so that the needle passes through the button hole, and you've got your hole marked Slide the shirt hole off of the needle, slide the button on the needle and sew like crazy. As long as you don't use a mile of thread, you'll be okay. Pant buttons are a little more rough...I reccomend doing more than you need...and if you have friends that comment that your pant button looks over've got REALLY close friends.

Liking "stuff." I like Nascar. So does my Dad. He collects cereal boxes with race cars on them. I will not collect cereal. I've got a couple favorite drivers, 2 favorite cars (and Pink can name both of them!), and I only buy things that are near and dear to me. My wife and I both loved LOTR, so we've got the collectors trinkets, I've got a Neo figure (McFarlane toys rock), among other things. What I'm getting to is that if you like to buy stuff, make sure it's either useful, assists in regurgitating positive memories/feelings, or if it's for collecting sake, make sure you've got a place to put it. Veggienerd should be good at the last bit, especially if she likes to organize. :) There is someting in The Pink Pamphlet that indicates that all small things are cute, which tend to be why a lot of trickets tend to be bought and put on display. Blue's reccomendation...make them useful. Pocket books for da purse, Pink got a whole office desk kit (staples, stapler, tape, tape holder, tape remover, etc.) and all of them could probably fit inside the palm of your hand...small...cute...and useful. :)

Bag Hag *chuckle* Blue has the same opinion of purses that he does of shoes. don't wear high heels (well, some do, but it's by choice, not but some unwritten societal standards), so women don't need to in my opnion (after all, the sexes are equal, right?). Secondly, if your going to buy some shoes or purse, make sure they go with three outfits you currently own. Shoes and purses should not be one hit wonders, nor should purses be luggage. If a lady wants to carry around just a wallet, go for it! If a man wants to be like Joey and stuff PB&Js in his man-purse, go for it. My wife is an enjoyable 6'2", so she's got me beat by 2 inches already. If she wore heels, not only would she be miserable for the entire evening, I'd be a 6' tall midget. Better to be comfortable and happy rather than perfect and miserable.


The Pink Pamphlet said...

*beats chest*
*hits man-thing over head and drags to her cave*

Yeah, he's a keeper.

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