Monday, October 01, 2007

Frakken Lightsabers

My doc has one, and thankfully he knows how to use it.

A week ago today I went in to have some skin tags removed. I'd had the procedure done before, so I knew what I was walking into. However, I don't think the doc did.

Skin tags occur normally in almost everyone, usually small little bumps on the skin that don't cause much of an issue. However, in severe cases, it gets passed on family lines.

Thanks Dad. :)

I'd been in the week before and the do said it would take about 40 minutes to get the ones on my legs, we'd let those heal, then do the ones in my arm pits and neck. (normally the procedure isn't approved for insurance because its cosmetic, but if you talk to the doctor about why you want it done, they'll approve it.) I said fair enough, I wanted them all done at once, but I'm glad I listened to his advice.

I show up, get prepped for the procedure and lay down on the bed/table they've got laid out. I was having them removed from my inner thigh, so any hope of them not seeing the frank and beans was out of the question. He's my doc, I need to have the tags removed, and the doc has a job to do. Plain and simple.

He starts to sterilize the area and starts injecting pain numbing stuff under the areas that were going to get some attention. I don't know what the stuff was, but every time he poked me with the needle to deliver it (my guess, 20 times per side) it felt like a really really bad pinch. He also asked the nurse to prep the cauterizing device, and surprisingly, the name is similar to lightsaber.

So far, so good.

He gets his chair ready, some tweezers and scissor scaples ready, and starts cutting. I hear the snips, an occasional burst of pain, and after about 5 minutes he asks. "Nurse, can you see if Dr. J is available." By the name, J is a woman, and my Dr. is a guy, so I just suck up and deal. I don't care if my guy doc looks at my happy place, but the girl doc....ah well, they know what they're doing.

Dr. J walks in, and my doc briefs her. I say, "welcome to the party!" Everyone laughs.

20 minutes later they're still snipping and the lightsaber comes out. Oh Anakin I can feel your pain. Some tags come off no problem, others need to be cauterized to stop the bleeding.

I don't like the smell of my own skin burning. Thankfully I didn't feel most of it. He was going to numb me for one or two of them, but I told him just to do it so that I didn't have to keep them there much longer. He'd guessed it was going to take 40 minutes for the whole dance, but we'd been there an hour at this point.

They get me some gauze and wrap both my thighs in an ace bandages tighly. I don't feel much pain, a couple pinch points maybe, and the ace bandage which is on tight tight. So tight I have to really use my muscles to walk tight.

I thank both of them, especially Dr. J, for cutting off not 20, 40, 60, or 100 tags, but over 200 of them. All in an area about the size of a playing card on the inside of both thighs. I was astonished at the number and I told them that I'd thank them in every meeting I sat in and had to fidget because one of those tags would be pinched in a wrinkle of clothing.

I came home and sat on a towel. The ace bandages didn't do the job that well on the way home, so I asked Pink to pick up two more on her way in. Pink doesn't handle blood real well, but she got me all bandaged up again with 2 ace bandages on either leg.

Women, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Panty hose is for the debble. I now have a new respect for those of you who choose to wear them. Two ace bandages around each leg had me walking like a body builder who couldn't close his legs. I could do it when forced to do it.

On Tuesday I came into work, and thankfully I only had one meeting where I had to look like nothing was wrong. I don't know if I pulled it off or not.

Recovery didn't suck until the numbing agent wore off. I could definitely feel every little snip they made on my leg. I had a hard time sleeping Monday night, and by Tuesday night I was pretty good. Today is the first day where the skin isn't tender and I don't have to wince with the first couple steps I take when I get up.

I'll call tomorrow for the remainder of them. Thankfully I don't have nearly as many to take care of.

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